Old Brick Reformed Church, Organized 1699

490 Route 520 • P.O. Box 153 • Marlboro, NJ 07746

Office Phone: (732) 946-8860 • Office Fax: (732) 946-9254

Secretary's Email: secretary@oldbrickchurch.orgInfo

Sunday Worship: 9:30AM

The Message

Read Psalm 127

The summer months are full of many wonderful activities revolving around our families. There are trips to the beach or lake, road trips to some enchanting vacation spot, camping, and biking excursions. Whatever special activities you are planning with your family I hope all your activities will bring your family closer as you make lasting memories together. As we prepare for the summer days ahead when the kids are out of school I thought perhaps you might find the following humorous. I wish I could take credit for this but I can't. I'm not sure who wrote it or how it ended up in my files, but here it is nonetheless.

Parenting 101: A Series of Tests On How You Can Know If You Are Ready to Have Children,

The Mess Test: Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains, rub wet mud from the flower beds on the wall, cover the stains with crayons, and place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.

The Toy Test: Buy a 55 gallon box of building blocks. Have a friend spread them on the floor and try to walk to the bathroom without screaming.

The Grocery Store Test: Borrow a few small animals, (goats are best), and then take them with you as you shop at the grocery store. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.

The Feeding Test: Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill it halfway with water and suspend it from the ceiling with a stout cord. Start the jug swinging back and forth, and then try to insert spoons full of soggy cereal into the mouth of the jug while pretending to be an airplane. When finished, dump the entire contents of the jug on the floor.

The Night Test: Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and filling it with 8-12 lbs. of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. Put the bag down and set your alarm for 10 P.M. Get up at 10, pick up your bag, walk around the house with your bag and sing every song you have ever heard and make up about a dozen more; sing these until 4 A.M. Lay the bag down. Set your alarm for 5 A.M. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.

The Physical Test for Women: Obtain a large beanbag. Attach to your front, under your clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. After 9 months, remove 10 of the beans.

The Physical Test for Men: Go to the nearest drug store, set your wallet on the counter, and ask the clerk to help himself.

The Lecture Test: Find a couple who already have a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their discipline, their patience, and their child's table manners. Be firm. Enjoy this experience, because it will be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers.

I hope you enjoyed these little tests. Parenting can be trying but it's worth it and after it's all said and done you'll look back and wish you could do it all over again. So, enjoy it while it lasts and cherish the summer months with your kids. And remember, God is only a prayer away.

Yours in Christ,

Pastor George Kaden

Reformed Church
In America
RCA The Reformed Church in America is a fellowship of congregations called by God and empowered by the Holy Spirit to be the very presence of Jesus Christ in the world.

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